Let Sleeping Dogs Lie...

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Let Sleeping Dogs Lie...

Post  Flea on Sun Apr 22, 2012 12:20 pm

Chapter 1, Part 1
What I've learnt in my 24 years of life is that the only person you can trust is yourself.
My name is Casey Ramone. I am (Obvioulsy) 24 years old; turning 25 on the 13th of March. Which just happens to be a Friday. Next Friday; to be exact. But that's no suprise. I'm an unlucky person.
It wasn't enough for my siblings to torment me, to call me dumb, stupid, dull, ugly and all those sorts of things. No, only when I was truly gone from their lives would it be enough.
Do you want to know what they did? I was 14 at the time; when I was pushed from the back of my father's ute. I could have died. The only stroke of luck I had that day was that Darren found me.
Darren was young back then; recently divorced from a lady named Joyclene, who just couldn't be faithful to her husband. He was quite good-looking back then and he's still quite handsome now. You know, for an old guy. He's 6"6, built broad and solid. His hair is still mousey brown, but is begining to gray. He has a few wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. His eyes are big, round and brown; a very dark brown. His skin is the colour of coffee with a tablespoon of milk and his eyelashes are pretty damned long. He's 46 now, currently dating a lawyer named Karin. I like Karin; even though people are supposed to dislike lawyers. Darren is The Cheif of Police in our sleepy little town; Amudeus.
When Darren found me; I had a mild concussion, 3 broken ribs and my left leg was fractured in 4 places. He immediatley rushed me to hospital. Of course, they wouldn't let him come with me unless he was related in some way. He obvioulsy cared for me; which is more than I've ever known. So I managed to utter the 3 words that would forever change my life;
"He's my dad"
Little had I known that I had just changed my life forever. Not only did Darren live up to the name I'd thrust upon him; he actually outdid my expectations. Darren supplied me with comfort, kindness, love and knowledge, which is all I ever wanted. He taught me how to cook and even from a young age; I was a whizz in the kitchen. Some nights Darren practically begged me to cook for him. But Darren had something I loved more than any toy a kid recieved for their birthday or christmas. That was his book collection. Darren loved crime. Mysteries mostly, Real-life murders; fictional drug-dealer schemes, you name it; Darren had it in his collection. I loved to read them. They intrigued me. Soon, I was flipping through them at break-neck speed. Darren and I would discuss them over dinner; when we'd known who had commited the crime, how we'd known and all that sort of stuff. Darren and I also enjoyed watching Scooby-Doo, CSI and NCIS or even Criminal Minds, always working on the case like the actors did, decoding the clues and analysing information. We always got our man.
The past is the past now, but I haven't really changed in 10 years. I began taking Karate lessons; twice a week. I worked out at the gym every other weekday. I became physically and mentally fit. That's about the only thing that changed; apart from the fact I finished puberty.
I'm 5"7, with a lithe, curvacious body. That is to say; I have a nice butt and a decent rack. My skin-tone is bronze, naturally. My hair is jet black and my eyes are very dark brown. So dark, in fact, that they almost seem black. And I am a Private Investigator. I work for myself; my office in a huge building with plenty of other offices. I'm on the 5th floor inside the last door on the right. My office is rather pleasant. The only way it could be better is if I was not right next door to Shelby Tate. That man just can't seem to grasp the fact that I am currently seeing someone.
It's Friday; and I'm finally finished the Strovinskie case. I'm just typing up my final report when the phone rings.
"Casey Ramone PI Services, Casey speaking. How may I help you?"
"Hey Casey! Some guy just dropped in with a gift for you"
"Heya Kent! It wasn't Shelby again; was it?"
"Nope, sorry Case"
"Oh ha ha, you're hilarious"
"I know"
"I'm really busy right now, Kent. Can you bring it up?"
"Uh, Ok. But I gotta warn ya... it's not your normal gift"
"I've been warned"
I hang up and go back to typing. A few minutes later, someone is knocking on my door. I open the door and gape at the gift I've been given. It was a puppy. A little cocker spaniel puppy
"I warned you" Kent mutters, handing me the puppy. I take it tentativley.
"I know. Thanks Kent" he nods and closes the door. I notice a tag attached to a purple ribbon.
"The dog will feel it first?" the tone of my voice is completley disbelieving. What does this mean? Who is playing this idiotic trick on me?! At that moment, I heard a ripping sound. Like the sound of chip packets opening. I frown. Weird. I put the dog down.
"Go do... something" I say shaking my head. The dog leaps a few steps, stops, sniffs and then promptly falls over and dies. That's when it clicks. Volcano scientists took dogs down in these diving-bell things, so that if toxic fumes managed to get into the bell, the dog would die and the scientists would be able to get pulled up and then get out of the bell. This was a strange take. My office had been filled with Toxic Fumes.

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Re: Let Sleeping Dogs Lie...

Post  Admin on Sun Apr 22, 2012 1:17 pm

This seems to have an interesting plot line. The grammar is correct, and it it is very descriptive. The only thing I would change personally, is that books don't usually have brackets, I would substitute them for commas.

I am, obviously, 24 years old;

Plot: 3/3
Grammar: 3/3
Length: 3/3
Overall: 9/9
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Re: Let Sleeping Dogs Lie...

Post  Flea on Mon Apr 23, 2012 11:21 am

Admin wrote:This seems to have an interesting plot line. The grammar is correct, and it it is very descriptive. The only thing I would change personally, is that books don't usually have brackets, I would substitute them for commas.

I am, obviously, 24 years old;

Plot: 3/3
Grammar: 3/3
Length: 3/3
Overall: 9/9

Thank you very much, but in this books case it is almost like a recount, just short of a diary written by the main character.

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Re: Let Sleeping Dogs Lie...

Post  Admin on Mon Apr 23, 2012 11:39 am

OK, understood. Still 9/9 of course, can't wait to read the rest.
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Re: Let Sleeping Dogs Lie...

Post  Flea on Mon Apr 23, 2012 11:48 am

Thank you :3

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Let Sleeping Dogs Lie...

Post  Flea on Mon Apr 23, 2012 1:01 pm

Chapter 1, Part 2
Warning: This chapter may contain material not suitable for younger readers. Read at your own risk.
I have to think fast. My life is at stake.
Bending down, I untie the ribbon from the dogs' neck. It might be crucial evidence later. I look around for a way of escape. I can't risk contamintaing the hallway and putting other lives at risk. I'm damned if I'll knock on Shelby's door, although the thought of him choking on the fumes brings an evil smirk to my face. The only other way was by window.
The only problem was that I was on the 5th floor. I ran to the window and looked out. I noticed that all the windows had ledges on them. Down on the 3rd floor; Katelyn Bartell had a balcony protruding from her office. I could climb across the windows, scale the pipe down to the balcony and ask to be let in.
Carefully, I climbed out of my window onto it's ledge. I closed the window, as not to let any gas out. I strectched my leg to the next window and delicatley shuffled onto the ledge. Flattening my back against the window; I reached for the pipe.
"WHOAH! WHOAH!" I look down to see a plainclothes cop jumping out of a battered blue Toyota Ute. "Hey, we can get through this together, OK? Just tell me your name"
"Excuse me sir, but it occurs to me you got that cheesy line from Catwoman"
"OK, so maybe I did. Now please tell me your name"
"Casey" I said, at the exact same time that I leaped from the window ledge.
"NO!" he cried, running forward. I soumersaulted down onto Katelyn's balcony, landed neatly, then slid down the pipe, back-flipped towards the cop and tossed my hair away from my face.
"Casey Ramone. Private Investigator" I said, holding out my hand. The cop shook it.
"I know you! The one who solved the Strovinskie case!"
"That's me!"
"Wow! Micahel Jord. A pleasure to meet you!" he said, flashing me a killer grin. I got tingles down there and immediatly felt guilty.
"If you may excuse me, I need to be getting home" I look down at the purple ribbon protruding from my pocket.
"May I ask you what you were doing up there?" he counters
"My office got intoxicated" I say simply, brushing past him to the parking lot. As I passed, his hand brushed my butt. I got more tingles, but I shook those clear before I got to my car. I drive an Electric Blue 2002 Mazda Millenia. It may not be the newest model in town; but I love it all the same. I was just starting up when I heard the thump of a hand on the hood of my car. "What do you want now?" I asked, entirley exasperated with this guy.
"I need a statement from you." he says. I sigh. Of course, he needs a statement.
"I live at 7 Jones Street." I say abruptly, before starting up, backing out and roaring away.
Jones Street is a nice neighbourhood, a few houses with small front yards and picket fences. Marcus Kale and I live at the 4th house on the left. Our house is red brick with a black roof. It has a front porch, a two car garage and a pretty rosebush growing alongside our picket fence. Our driveway is gravel. We have a spa and a swimming pool along with the back porch out the back of our house. We have at least 3 acres of land.
I park in the garage and slide out of my car. I find the door unlocked, so just toss the keys in the key bowl. Marcus is sprawled on the couch. "Hey sugar!" he purrs, getting up and walking to my side.
"Mark" I say in return, reaching up to plant a little kiss on his lips.
"Mhhhhm, yummy" he says, engulfing me in a hug.
Marcus is a big guy at 6"9, he works out almost every day and is very strong as a result. He has a nice beach-bum tan that makes his gleaming white smile stand out even more. He has sparkling blue eyes and ruffled blonde hair. He is very hot and I am one lucky girl.
"My office got gassed" I tell him. His brow creases in worry.
"Do they know who did it? Are you OK? You didn't inhale anything?" I shake my head. He lets out a breath of relief. "Good"
"But I do need cheering up." Marcus grinned
"I may just be able to help you with that" he sweeped me up and carried me into our room. He closed the door with his foot and deposited me on the bed. He clambered on next to me, pulling me into him, kissing me passionatley and deeply.

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Let Sleeping Dogs Lie...

Post  Flea on Tue Apr 24, 2012 1:24 pm

Chapter 1, Part 3
Warning: This chapter may contain material not suitable for younger readers. Read at your own risk.
Marcus and I have a strange relationship
Half of our time spent together in my little house at 7 Jones Street is in the large queen-sized bed in the master bedroom. Marcus and I do care for each other, we've made THAT very clear to anyone who doubted it, but many people are convinced that Marcus and I should not be together. We take no notice of them.
Marcus insisted we buy this house; with it's 3 spare bedrooms for reasons unknown to me until today. Marcus and I had just managed to crawl under the covers (Naked; yes) and he was looking for protection when I heard the doorbell go. I sighed and crawled back out; wrapping my red silk dressing gown around me.
I answered the door with nothing between me and Michael Jord but a red silk dressing gown. Michael looked like he'd love to just rip it off. Too bad he wouldn't get the chance. "Officer" I said shortly.
"Miss Ramone"
"Why are you here?"
"I need a statement"
"Now?"
"That would be helpful" he replies, smirking. At that moment, Marcus appeared behind me in a blue terry-robe.
"What's up Cupcake?" he asks me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my head.
"The officer needs my statement"
"Now"
"Now would be convenient" Officer Jord cut in.
"For you at least" I muttered.
"Look mate, I'm sorry but we're kind of busy" Marcus said, kissing my neck.
"I can see that" came Officer Jord's cold reply
"Officer Jord-"
"Just call me Mike"
"Uh, Michael. Can you please come back another time?"
"For you, yes. Tomorrow; 10 o'clock"
"Where"
"My office"
"It's a date" I said sarcastically, spinning round to kiss Marcus. He kissed me back; almost possesivley. Michael looked sick.
"I'll be seeing you then" and he was gone. I closed the door and turned to Marcus. He was on me instantly, his mouth pressed to mine, tounge running over my lips. He swept me up and carried me back to the room, closing the door behind us. We pulled off each other's covering and slipped under the covers. Marcus pulled me into him, kissing me constantly, never letting up. Suddenly, his phone rang. "Shit" he said and I laughed. He reached across to check the message. I kissed his chest, right in the middle of his pectoral muscles. I could feel him shiver.
Then Marcus tuned out. "Crap. Case, put some clothes on. Nice, welcoming. My sister is coming"
This was a big deal. Marcus had a sister named Amanda who had just suffered a nasty divorce. She was 34 with 2 children; 1 at the age of 8 and the other 7. Both were female.
Both Marcus and I were out of bed in a flash. I threw on a pair of slim-fit black jeans, a tailored red blouse and black pumps. I tied my hair back in a bouncy ponytail. Marcus threw on a pair of black slacks, a white cotton button-down shirt and a pair of Reebok trainers. We straightened our room and I rushed into the kitchen to prepare dinner. "What will the kids like?" I yell at him; panicking.
"Barbecue?" he offers.
"Great! Here's some steak and do the potatoes as well, please!" I said, shoving ingredients towards him. I began to slice carrots and grate cheese into a bowl; cooking some eggs in a frying pan at the same time. Despite the warning; I still wasn't prepared for the doorbell to go. Marcus and I rushed to the door; straightened our outfits and I flung open the door with a broad smile.
Amanda Kale looked far younger than she was. She had long, golden hair, sparkling blue eyes and a deep sun-bed tan. She was around 6"0, with a curvacious body and super-model long legs.
"Hi!" I said as brightly as I could, feling a little more relaxed at Marcus's hand resting on my waist. "You must be Amanda! I'm Casey! It's a pleasure to finally meet you!" I say, taking her hand and pumping it up and down briskly.
"You too" she replied; the suprise adamant in her voice. Yes, I was strong for a woman of my genre. I smiled again and bent down to the 7-year-olds height.
"Hi, I'm Casey. What's your name?" I ask her.
"I'm Chelsea. Everyone calls me Chel" she says matter-of-factly. I smile and hold out my hand, attempting to shake her hand. Instead, she hugs me. I'm suprised, but eventually gather my wits and hug her back; tentativley. She pulls back and I can get a good look at her.
Chelsea Kale (Her mother gave the children her name) was a pretty child, fair skin dotted with freckles. She had bouncy red hair; fringe held back by a bright purple head-band. She had the prettiest green eyes, and she was rather lithe and atletic-looking.
I turned myself to her sister; the elder of the two "And you?" I ask.
"I'm Kirsten" she says shortly.
"That's a pretty name"
"Thank you"
Kirsten Kale was also pretty. She was less athletic and more super-model, like her mother. She had beautiful golden locks like the elder Kales and the same high eyebrows, dark lashes and sparkling blue eyes her mother had. Her hair was scraped back in a high ponytail, held in place by a neon-coloured hair tie. Her tone was honey-coloured. She was very pretty indeed.
I held out my hand, and she shook it politely. "Your mummy and Uncle Mark have some catching up to do! How about I show you your rooms?"
"YES!" Chel squealed, grabbing my hand and jumping up and down like a rabbit. She got a glare from her elder sister who replied more sensibly;
"Yes please; Aunty Casey"
I took her hand in my other one and began to lead them towards the smaller guest bedrooms.

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